How I’m Preparing for my 3rd Labour & Birth

Laura talks not only about what she’s packing in her hospital bag for her upcoming birth, but also what she believes to be THE most important aspect of her upcoming labour & birth… her mental game.

Listen on Apple Podcasts: Click here

Links Mentioned

New Mama Energy Guide

Transcript

You’re listening to The Love & Lettuce Podcast, episode number 24. Today I am getting all into how I’m preparing for my third labour and birth because you guys, it is coming so soon! By the time this is aired, which is actually going to be today, the day of recording, I might already be in labour. So I’m glad that I’m gonna be talking to you about how I’m prepping for that right now. Stay tuned.

Hey, this is Laura Lima, holistic nutritionist and founder of New Mama Nation and host of The Love & Lettuce Podcast. I am here to help mamas know what to eat to give them energy and help them feel fantastic so they can better enjoy life with their littles. And remember, this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and does not replace medical advice from your healthcare provider, and is not intended to diagnose or treat any medical condition. As always, please consult your healthcare provider to find out what is right for you. With that said, let’s get to the show!

Could you use more energy, mama? I mean, who couldn’t, right?

Get my free New Mama Energy Guide, where I’ll give you 10 tips to increase your energy, stat. Go to bit.ly/newmamas to get your free copy. 

Okay, so here I am going into my third birth. I had one in 2018; that was Ellie. I had one in 2020; that was Maggie. And they were very similar births, in that I had to be induced both times, so both of my girls were very comfy! They were both in the posterior position, meaning basically not the ideal position for birth. So they were just too comfy. And we went a week and six days over with Ellie, or a week and five perhaps, and then with Maggie, a week and four or five; it’s one of those two. Almost two weeks overdue.

My midwife and I decided, yes, this is the date for each girl when I will be induced. So that’s what happened. We went to Mac (if you’re in Hamilton, you know McMaster Hospital),. and we went to meet our awesome midwife, Tamara, Tamara Youngberg from Access Midwives. She’s amazing.

I got induced with Pitocin.

So the labour started off and slowly it progressed. And then I had a baby both times by that night, and the induction started at around 10am. So I don’t know if that’s going to happen again. It’s really hard to say because obviously, you just don’t know what’s gonna happen with birth. And as my midwife keeps telling me, the third child is like a wildcard. You don’t know what’s going to happen.

I’m going into this, like, really excited, really anticipating, just like really trying to be prepared. So I want to talk to you today about exactly how I’m preparing for that. The births, the two that I had before, started off quite similarly. And with Ellie, my first, I decided to have an epidural. With Maggie, I decided not to, and both times, including this time, I am going into it, and I went into it, thinking I’m going to do what I need to do.

Who freaking knows what’s going to come up and how this is going to go?! Because you literally don’t know when you’ve never done it before. And you don’t know when you have done it before! Because every single labour and birth can be so different, right? So I went into it, and I’m going to go into it again, thinking I would love to have a natural birth. Natural, to me, meaning no epidural. I know that sounds crazy, because not having had one last time (so, I had a natural birth last time), and wanting that again. I know that sounds crazy to some of you.

And I’ve talked about this in a previous podcast episode when I talked about the differences between epidural and natural birth for me, but I just… there’s something about experiencing the full feelings and intensities of birth, like there was something about actually feeling Maggie coming down my birth canal. I know this is crazy to say and most people are like, you’re crazy. Why do you want to feel that? That’s insane! I don’t know; it was a different type of being in the moment.

Ellie, my epidural birth

I decided to do it because Tamara, my midwife, was saying, you know what? Things are not progressing, and the baby’s heartbeat, heart rate is starting to be affected by contractions. Mildly so, so nothing to be worried about; you can keep trying for another few hours, seeing if she will be able to turn on her own. But with each contraction, you’re tensing up so much (which is the key not to do that, by the way, if you can help it. If you can stay as loose and relaxed as you can, that is key for helping your uterus to allow baby to turn into the right position for birth.

But Tamara said, yeah, we can try for another few hours and see if baby is able to turn on her own, or we can get the epidural now, and that will absolutely help you relax your uterus so that baby can turn faster.

I was like, like, oh, no, here’s this decision making time. I knew it could come; here it is. And my main thing was, I don’t want to have a C-section. I don’t want to have major abdominal surgery that I have to recover from. And I was just hoping to avoid that, and especially an “emergency C-section” or, like, an unexpected one. I really didn’t want to have that.

So with that in mind, I said, let’s get the epidural. So I did, and I’m so happy I got it. I don’t regret it at all. And what I found was in that experience, I was able to be present in a different way than I was with Maggie with no epidural. So with Ellie, it was more like I could be totally present to what was going on. Not just in the room; I don’t mean that, but like with the birth itself, like, okay, I feel sort of intensity happening. My midwife is telling me okay, here’s a contraction coming. So I’d be like, okay, I’m going to start pushing.

So that was a really cool experience to be able to push and not really feel anything per se, except for pressure.

Maggie, my natural birth

With Maggie, I was in the moment in a much different way, because I could feel it, and I knew when the contraction was coming. I knew that… that feeling of having to push is just like, if you’ve felt it before, like you just know; it’s insane. You’re just like, oh my gosh, but they’re like, no, you have to wait for your contraction to start.

So that was so cool to be present with feeling it happen. I was like, here comes the ring of fire. It’s inevitable. I know I have to get through this. We can do it. And we did it. And you do do it,  and you do get through it, because you have no choice, and just because you do! Because it’s natural and billions of women have done it, and will do it. And you just know that you’ll get through it.

Yeah, in the moment, it was crazy. So there was something about being present in that way, where I got to feel everything. And again, I know that’s crazy. And especially going into another birth, I’m like, okay, I felt everything.

But I feel good about wanting to feel everything again.

Again, we’ll see what happens. So that is my plan. Let’s try to, whether or not I get induced. And wouldn’t it be cool for me to actually experience natural contractions? And what I mean by that is, I don’t know what it feels like for my body to go into labour naturally. I don’t know what it feels like to say, hmm, I think I might be having a contraction. I know what it feels like to be hooked up to the IV pitocin and say, yeah, that’s a contraction. Yeah, there it is.

And then to hear the beep of the machine every time my midwife would turn it up a little bit higher. It was like a love-hate thing because you wanted it to progress of course, but you also didn’t want to feel the extra contractions that you knew were coming… but anyways, so I don’t know what it’s like to go into labour naturally. That would be a really cool experience. Okay, baby? Just saying. So we’ll see.

But either way, I am preparing for whatever happens. And I am so excited to experience it. But here’s how I’m preparing for this labour and birth.

Now just so you know, FYI, interest’s sake, I’m planning on giving birth again at Mac with my midwife, the same one, Tamara. Love her.

Preparing for Labour & Birth

And so, I’m going to talk today about what I plan to put in my birth bag if you will, my hospital bag, but also most importantly, how I am preparing mentally, because that, to me, is the bottom line. That is the key. That is a game changer, from if you want to experience this natural birth versus saying, okay, I’ll get the epidural.

And by the way, obviously nothing is wrong with getting an epidural, I got one, and I highly encourage you to do your own thing; that is the only thing you can do. But if you want to try, like I’m trying, and have tried, to go for no epidural, then the key for me was to stay in the right mindset. As soon as I allowed fear, like, I don’t know what’s going to happen, like this anxiety of the unknown, because that’s what birth is, it’s unknown. You don’t know how much more intense it’s going to get. How much longer you’re going to have to stand or like, take these contractions.

There’s intensity, and there’s the unknown.

So to be able to stay in the right mindset is absolutely huge. And I actually remember being in labour with Maggie thinking like, okay, we’re not going to let this fear come in. In fact, like, I wouldn’t even go that far, because I didn’t even want to say the word fear in my head, because I didn’t want to bring it into my consciousness, if you will.

So I was just all about relaxing, all about the calm and just staying focused. And I really do believe, like, for me, it was really important to not associate contractions with pain. I know, I know, that sounds crazy. But why do I want to have this association? And why do I want to have this thought of, I’m going into this really painful process, oh man, but I’m going to try to get through it without any, you know, medication, without any help, without any pain relief. But I’m just going to try! It doesn’t make sense for me.

I wanted to go into it, and I want to go into it again, feeling like, this is very intense. So instead of saying painful, I say intense, because it’s like the most intense thing I have ever experienced. Both the contractions and the pushing. So this is going to be a very intense experience. I have to stay in the right mindset. Not a painful one per se, but super intense. And like, whoa.

Prepping my mindset, my mental game, is the most important thing for me.

So how am I doing that? Well, the main thing that I’m doing, actually, for Maggie’s birth, before I gave birth to Maggie, so a couple of months before, I was talking to a friend of mine. (Thanks, Jen!) And she gave me a recommendation for an audiobook called The Calm Birth Method. The Calm Birth Method by Suzy Ashworth. It’s just really nice to listen to, because Suzy really helps to bring you into that calm mental state and like that empowered, I’m ready for this, I’ve got this, whatever happens, I’m ready. So she really helps to get you into that state. I highly recommend the audiobook.

I listened to it, probably like one and a half times before Maggie’s birth. And now I’m on my, I’m almost done it before this third birth coming up, and I’m going to start it again, when I’m done. It’s just something I have on in the background, if I’m driving or doing the dishes or cooking and the girls are allowing me to hear something on my phone. It’s just one of those things that I find to be so helpful to hear somebody else’s experiences and what they suggest for me to do.

So that’s the one thing I’m doing, the main thing I’m doing to help me get into that mental game. She also gives good breathing exercises to do, so both in between contractions, and even just like in general leading up to the birth, really good breathing exercises to stay calm and stay in the moment. And she gives you good breathing exercises for when you’re going through a contraction, or what she calls a wave. So highly recommended.

Deep Breathing

Another thing I’m doing, so, connected to that, another thing I’m doing is deep breathing itself. So I use those breaths that she has recommended and suggested. And I practice those as I’m going to sleep. It usually puts me to sleep right away, so I should really do it during the day more often. But I like to do it, yeah, before I go to bed, and if I’m just kind of resting. And what she suggested, I really agree with this, is to do these calming breaths. So it’s actually four counts in (inhale), and seven counts exhale. So the exhale is longer than the inhale. I love to do this.

And this is what she suggests when you’re going crazy in the day. So when the kids are fighting with one another, you’re trying to get dinner on the table, you have to record a podcast episode. I don’t know, I’m just making these up. But these are things that happen in our day for for some of us, right, and for most of us, yeah, this like busyness, craziness is what happens.

So in that moment, you have to train your brain and your nervous system to get out of the fight or flight, crazy adrenaline and cortisol, and into the relaxation mode. So that is what I’m trying to do.

Meditation

The next thing that I’m trying to do more of is meditating itself. So I have the Calm app on my phone, love the Calm app. And it gives you 10 minute guided meditations per day. Plus, it gives you a whole bunch of other topics that you can dive into more, it gives you sleep stories, which I haven’t looked into much, but I’ve heard a lot of good things, so I definitely want to do those.

But yeah, the Calm app is great, because what are you doing during meditation? I’m not great yet, at knowing, like, here are my thoughts coming in. I’m trying to like, acknowledge them, and then let them slide away. I don’t really know the best way to meditate. So for me, the guided meditations have been huge in general, but also right now. And it’s not just going into labour and birth that I’m finding meditating is helping.

But going into the fact that I’m going to have three children. And I’m going to have a newborn plus a preschooler and a toddler, all vying for my attention. And I’m going to feel bad because I can’t give equal attention to all of them. So it’s going to be a little bit nutty. And I’m, I’m feeling like the meditation is really helping me to just stay calm and focused and know that all will be fine. This has happened to many a person, many a mom, and the kids have transitioned just fine.

Exercise

Now, here’s another thing I’m doing to prep. I’m trying as hard as I can to keep up with my exercise. And for me, that’s not a lot. If you watch my Instagram stories, you’ll see that I do light weights, we’re talking five pounds is the heaviest weight I have right now at home. And I do some push ups on my knees, less so these days, because I know it can be a lot of strain on my tummy, with a really big eight-and-a-half-month pregnant belly. But I do just gentle exercises to, uh, you know, squats and lunges and all that, to keep my muscles strong, to keep my body strong, to feel good.

Because I feel like when I don’t move my body as much as I should, I get more sore. This is a fact. So what happens, we seize up, and we’re not able to feel these light, relaxed bodies that we’re supposed to feel, we tend to get more tense and more tight the less often we move, or the less we move in general. So I really am trying to keep that up. Because I mean, hello, like labour and birth! It’s a very physical experience, you need a lot of strength, not just mental, but physical as well, strength and energy and endurance. So I definitely want to keep up with moving my body as much as I can.

My actual “exercise” is Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning. Yeah, sometimes it doesn’t happen. But I try as often, as hard as I can, to stick with it, because it just makes the whole day so much better, and the whole week so much better. Because I know I can think back and think, yeah, I did my workout. That feels really good.

I also like to go for walks. But admittedly, I don’t go for as long or as often as I should. So right now my walks mostly consist of walking Ellie to preschool and picking her up. And preschool is around the corner. So it’s not very far. So I definitely need to improve that. But it is something that I do absolutely feel the benefits from so I want to do it more.

Taking Magnesium

Here’s something else I’m doing that you might be like, oh! I’m taking more magnesium. Yeah, magnesium is the ultimate anti-stress and the ultimate relaxing mineral. And when it comes to these little things called muscle cramps, or specifically, leg cramps, pregnant mamas tend to get a lot of them. This is because a lot of our magnesium is going to baby and we’re not replenishing with ideally a supplement because it’s hard to get enough, the amount that you need from food. If we’re not replenishing, we’re going to be deficient in magnesium. 

Magnesium is like the number one mineral deficiency in North America. It’s not “like that;” it is that. And we need it for so many things in the body, including relaxing our muscles. And I remember thinking, when I was pushing Maggie, when I was in the pushing phase, every time I would go to push, and my legs would tense, my calves, I would feel a muscle cramp coming on. So I had to push as I was trying to stretch out my calf. I was like, I don’t need another thing, thank you very much! Let me focus on pushing.

So I’m going into this knowing that and so I’m increasing my magnesium right now, from the get go. So I highly recommend looking at doing that for you. What I take is I take the magnesium capsules (magnesium bisglycinate, 200 mg per capsule). And I also have one that is a powdered magnesium (Natural Calm), so you mix it with hot or cold water. Love it, I just don’t have the powder all the time, because it’s faster to take a pill. So I take both; I interchange them. I love it.

Sleep More

I’m also trying to sleep more. Because I’m going into this, again, not knowing am I going to be induced? If that happens, it’s kind of convenient, because I can get a good sleep the night before, pack my really energizing breakfast and eat that on, you know, not on the way but before I leave. But also, if labour does just happen spontaneously, it could happen in the middle of the night, could happen when I’m already tired. Hoping it doesn’t. But hey, whatever, like if it happens, it happens. I’ll take it!

So I am really trying to get extra sleep and extra rest as much as I can, knowing how much of a virtual, like, literal workout I’m going into.

80/20

And finally, before we get into what’s in my bag, my hospital bag, or what will be when I pack it, I should say! I’m focusing more on the 80% foods versus the 20%. So you might be like, what are you talking about? Well, I’m talking about the way that I try to eat is an 80/20 approach to health: 80% of the time, I am eating the… I’m trying, I’m aiming to eat the healthiest foods possible, to really nourish myself, to really give my body the nutrients it needs. And then 20% of the time, that’s when I indulge. So I’m trying to focus lately on that 80% and making it more like 85 or 90%.

Because again, I don’t want to go into the birth having just eaten pizza the night before. And having just had some chocolate almonds, which are in my 20% sometimes. I don’t want to have that sugar in my system, that excess wheat, the excess processed food, when I don’t need it.

I want to go into Labour & birth with all the nutrients, with the easy-to-digest food, not the food that’s bloating me and making me feel crappy and sluggish and tired. Like, no way! I need the foods that are making me so energized and ready and on top of my mental game, and physical as well.

So yeah, I am really trying to get my diet, really aiming for my diet, to be as healthy as possible, especially right now.

My Hospital Bag

Now let’s move on to what is in my hospital bag, or slash what will be in my hospital bag once I do it, and that is a reminder to me to pack it as soon as I am done recording today. So I’m going to put some raw honey in there. Raw honey being just like such an amazing, fast, quickly digested source of energy, source of vitamins, of minerals, of enzymes, of just like all the nutrients that my body is going to grab on to and is going to need during that time of labour and birth.

So raw honey with a little spoon here and there during labour & birth is what I’ve done before and I found that it does help to just keep me in the game. Give me that little boost that I need to keep going.

I also am going to pack this thing called Roar electrolyte drinks. I mostly have water during my labours, but I like having Roar because it’s almost like Gatorade without the extra sugar without the extra colour and blech. It’s basically like water, coconut water and B vitamins. So it’s just again, it’s good to keep you going and give you the extra electrolytes you’re probably sweating out. And kind of like an energy drink.

Now as far as food, I don’t tend to have much food during labour & birth, but I will have it in the early stages for sure if I need it. So I’m going to take some grapes with me, some berries, and some trail mix, done.

And finally, I’m going to pack my nipple shield. Because with both girls, I ended up using it right away in the hospital. And it is literally the thing that saves me from well, it’s, I should say, in a different way. It’s literally the thing that allowed me to breastfeed, which is what I really wanted to do. And I was having a hard time with it, without the shield. My midwife suggested it for my first birth and I was like, or my first baby Ellie. And I was like, whoa, total game changer.

So I had brought it with me for Maggie, didn’t use it at first because I thought well, different baby, who knows, and breastfeeding boobs already, so maybe it’s going to be easier, we’ll see. And again, like, she was having a hard time. And I know that you totally can at the beginning and it takes a while to get it figured out. But I know from my first, with Ellie, that even having seen a lactation consultant and trying lots of different things, looking at the tongue latch, or the tongue tie, and getting that released… still, I found it to be really helpful to use a shield.

And both my girls used it for the entire time that they breastfed. So I will be bringing that to the hospital with me trying without it, and if I need it, it is going on, and it is going to continue to go on for as long as I breastfeed this one.

Now the last couple things are pretty obvious.

I’m going to update my playlist, and I’m going to bring my speaker because, yes, music in the delivery room, huge! And I’m going to pack my own pillow and my nightgown. And if you have seen my pictures from my labour & birth, from my birth stories for my girls, I wore the same nightgown. It’s blue, it has white polka dots. Of course I’m gonna wear the same one because now that is just my birthing nightgown. And so I have to wash that and get that in the bag. It’s already in my laundry basket, so I’m halfway there, sort of.

So that is what I’m doing to prepare for this third labour and birth. Sounds like a lot. It’s not that much; not that much physical stuff. It’s mostly the mental for me. I’m truly hoping to stay, stay in that zone of relaxation, “you’ve got this” empowerment. Don’t let that fear take over because fear equals tension, which equals pain. Yes, it’s very intense, but painful? I’m not gonna go there. It’s very intense. It’s the most intense thing I will ever experience again. And I can’t wait. I am so excited.

So I hope this has given you some food for thought. If you’re preparing for maybe your first birth, maybe your fourth birth or fifth, I hope that I’ve given you something to think about that you might add to your preparation process. I will talk to you mama soon, and have an amazing day. 

And don’t forget to get your free copy of my New Mama Energy Guide. Just go to bit.ly/newmamas for instant access. Thanks for listening to The Love & Lettuce Podcast. To find out how to work with me and for more great info, check out newmamanation.com. This is Laura! Until next time, love and lettuce.