Ben’s Birth Story

Laura’s sharing all the deets of her third babe (and first son!)’s birth story, from contractions to pushing to getting stitches. Tune in to hear it all!

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Links Mentioned

Episode 16: Epidural vs. Natural Birth: My Two Experiences

Transcript

You’re listening to the love and lettuce Podcast, episode number 26. Today we’re getting into the nitty gritty of Ben’s birth. Yes, that’s right. I’ve had my third baby. His name is Benjamin Lewis. And he is my mama’s boy. I have claimed him. And that is okay. He is an angel baby as well. There’s something about having a boy child. I don’t know what it is like, I absolutely love having daughters. And I would have been so happy to have a third girl. But just like other boy moms told me, There’s something about having a son. There’s something about having a boy and I absolutely love it. And I get it now, my friends. So today I’m getting into his birth story. Stay tuned.

Hey, this is Lauren Lima, holistic nutritionist and founder of New mama nation, and host of the Love and Lettuce podcast. I am here to help mamas know what to eat to give them energy and help them feel fantastic. So they can better enjoy life with their littles. And remember, this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only, and does not replace medical advice from your health care provider. And it’s not intended to diagnose or treat any medical condition. As always, please consult your health care provider to find out what is right for you. With that said, let’s get to the show.

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So Ben’s birth story begins, quite similarly to my two girls, in that I had to be induced. Yep, I was waiting to see if I would go into labor naturally, this time around the third time around. And alas, I did not. I don’t know why, it could have been his position / all three of their positions. I’m not sure. But for whatever reason, my body was like, no, this ain’t happening on its own. And I know it would have eventually, but you don’t want to go too long overdue, at least I don’t. So I decided with the help of my midwife to choose a day to give birth. So we chose July 8, and honestly, it went so well. Like when I look back, I think I loved it. I absolutely loved that day, just like I did for Ellie, just like I did for Maggie. It was just so amazing. And obviously like I got a baby out of it.

But I just love birth and obviously being in labor being in it. It is extremely intense, especially at times, but it’s up and down at you have breaks between contractions. And at the end of it. Wow, I look back and I’m just like, that was amazing. What a whirlwind. Holy cow.

Let’s start from the beginning.

So July 8, we talk to our midwife. And first of all, I have to say, if you are in Ontario / I actually think all of Canada was affected. But anyway, you will know that July 8, you might not know the date. But anyways, July 8 was the day when the Rogers Communications went down. As in, if you have Rogers as your cell phone provider, you did not have your cell phone working that day. This is literally what happened. On the day that I gave birth. And I was supposed to be talking to my midwife about what time to meet her at the hospital. We could not get hold of each other. Luckily, she was not with Rogers. And so she was able to somehow call. I don’t actually know how it happened.

We were at my mom and dad’s house, because that’s where the girls stayed during Ben’s birth. And for a couple of nights after that as well. Well, that night and one more night, but anyways, my parents, I think it was my mom’s phone that was on a different carrier or something like that, which was not affected. So her phone was still working. So when we figured out that these phones were down, because at first we didn’t actually know and I was like, why are we not hearing from Tamara? It’s already whatever it was, 8 am, 8:30.

We would have wanted to have something scheduled to meet, I know she wanted that as well. So we all knew when to go to Mac to meet each other. Well, we couldn’t get a hold of her. And when I realized that, I was like, what do I do? And at first I didn’t know what the problem was. So I took my phone I was like you know what? I’m just going to keep driving until I have Wi-Fi. So once I get out of your neighborhood, my phone should work again, no problem. So I’m driving down the road, holding my phone, seeing when I have Wi-Fi again. And it’s not coming back.

So I ended up at my house, which is about 10 minutes away from my parent’s house. And I’m thinking, Okay, I’m going to hook up to my Wi-Fi there. And I’ll be able to, I’ll be able to figure this out, I’ll be able to get online at least. Well, I couldn’t get online. What was going on? So finally when I went into my house, I was able to see some text messages. But I think it was because I was connected to my Wi-Fi, which was with Bill. Crazy. So my phones with Rogers didn’t work. But when I connected to Wi-Fi, I was able to get my messages, because it was Bell. You guys, I know you all have crazy stories like this, I’m sure. And it was just crazy that this was the day that we could not communicate with our midwife.

So thankfully, she figured it out. And somehow, my mom’s phone was able to call her. Then Miguel and my mom got a hold of me, I was still at home in the driveway. I didn’t want to go anywhere because my phone wasn’t going to work. Once I left my Wi-Fi was nuts, we finally got a hold of tomorrow, we ended up at the hospital, I think around 10 am or something like that, maybe 9 am. So we get hooked up. And by the way, Mack now has a new midwifery care unit. And it’s just like the usual labor and birth unit. And I was the first one, not the very first one there. But the first one that my midwife had. They’re the first client of my midwife. So that was kind of exciting. And we had a window in a room. Yay. So it’s nice and sunny and bright. I loved it, I felt immediately comfortable in the room. It was great.

Pitocin

So I get hooked up to the IV. And the Pitocin starts. I think the Pitocin started around 11 or 12. And at first, I had what felt like Braxton Hicks contractions. So just like tightening of the uterus, tightening of my abdominal muscles is what it felt like. And that was it. I was like, okay, I know how this goes. I know it’s gonna get more intense. And every time our nurse would turn up the volume, if you will, turn up the dial of the Pitocin. I had a total love-hate relationship because it’s got to happen. I know that I want this labor to progress, I want to meet my baby. But whoa, I know this means more intensity is coming. And if you know me, and if you’ve heard my other podcast episodes about birth, I don’t even like to bring pain, the word pain into the equation because I want it to be intensity, I want it to be wow, this is crazy. This is a crazy sensation.

Because I just don’t want to associate pain with the contractions. Because as soon as you do that, your body tenses up. It’s a natural reaction. When you think of it as pain, you become fearful, at least for me, that’s what would happen. And fear equals tension equals pain. If you’ve looked at natural birth, before, you would know that you would have heard of that before. Fear equals tension equals pain, you don’t want to tense up the uterus because well that actually is going to make it painful. Which makes it a whole lot worse. So for me, I was like this is intense. I don’t know how intense it’s gonna get. Even though I’ve given birth before you just don’t know every birth is different.

The baby could be in a different position. Who knows? Right? So that’s the main thing for me I find and I’m sure a lot of women out there know how intense it’s going to get. And I don’t know how long is gonna take and that not knowing. That unknown. That’s the hardest part for me of birth. Because yeah, I can you know, if you told me, okay, you’re gonna have 10 more of these contractions. I would be like, done. These are super intense. It’s crazy, but I can do it. But if you tell me, I don’t know, could take three more hours. And meanwhile, they’re getting more and more intense.

Oh, man, this is crazy. Can I do it? Yes, I can do it. I know. I can do it. I’m doing it. But whoa, this is nuts.

Active Labor

So for Ben, I got into active labor pretty quickly. And by the way, you might hear him squawking in the background. He is sleeping, I think but he’s just in the kitchen in his little chair on the kitchen table. I am in the office around the corner. But I can hear him doing some squawking so if I have to get him, I will but I do believe he will stay sleeping because this is his long nap. We’ll see.

So I got into active labor pretty quickly. So we’re talking. I don’t have my timeline in front of me because I didn’t write it down. It’s in my head. I think it was two hours from the beginning. You know the beginning stages of labor, and then once it became active, it might have been another two or three hours. Basically, the Pitocin started at 11 or 12. And I gave birth just before six. So it was not a long labor. And I attribute that to the Pitocin. Because of course, the more Pitocin that you put through your body, likely the faster birth will be. Also I attribute that to the fact that it was my third, which again, might not make a difference, but I think it did for me.

So, yes, active labor was nuts. It was just, I had our music playlist on I liked it, then I was like, nope, no more music. There was a time when I got to that, it was just so intense. I started to cry, which has happened in all three labors. I’ve only cried once during each one. But it’s that moment. I don’t think I got to transition. I don’t think it was that moment, though. It could have been. But it was just this moment of like, oh my gosh, again, that unknown. Like, this is already so intense. How much more is it going to get?

Can I do it? I know I can do it. I’ve done it before. I know I can do it again.

But like, Oh my gosh. And no matter what way you look at it, you’re in it, you got to get through this. So that’s what I think of in that moment. But it’s good because my midwife always says, hey, tears or laughter equals oxytocin. So good. Let’s get that oxytocin into you. Because, yes, we’re doing Pitocin, which is the chemical oxytocin. But let’s get that natural oxytocin going. So totally crying is great. Laughing is even better, because it’s more fun. But yeah, I had this breakdown. I was like, okay, Miguel, give me my earbuds. I had my birth affirmation, that’s good, I have my birth affirmations on my phone, ready to go on Spotify, have my playlists ready, I had the meditations ready for active stage of labor. And I put that in, and it really did help because I felt myself, okay, here comes a contraction. Here it comes.

I was able to listen to the affirmations or to the meditations, and still feel the contraction. But just get through it a lot more easily, mentally. So that’s what I did. It didn’t last for long this feeling of like, oh my gosh, this is crazy. You know, although the intense feeling did last from that point on, I was like, let’s get this thing going. Oh, my gosh, this baby needs to come out. Like, come on. Let’s just do this. So, and of course, right? You’re in labor, of course, that’s going to happen. I was just ready to have this baby out.

Because again, you don’t know how much more intense it’s going to get. How much longer you’re going to be going through these contractions, which are crazy sensations. Crazy. I had gone into this birth, by the way, thinking whatever happens happens, obviously. And if I need an epidural at any point, done, no problem. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. But that’s how I went into Maggie’s birth and Ellie’s as well.

With Ellie, my first I ended up getting one. And with Maggie, I ended up not getting one. And I was hoping for the same with Ben. But hey, whatever happened happened. I found going through and actually have a podcast episode on this episode 16. So check that out. I’ll put that in the show notes. That’s where I talk about the difference for me between epidural birth and quote, natural birth. That’s just how I’m describing both so you kind of get what I’m talking about. And I found that I was able to be present in such a different way, both times. And for me, I mean, they were both amazing. And with Ellie, having had the epidural I was able to be more present in the moment.

Not necessarily physically because I couldn’t really feel I just felt pressure. But mentally I was there. Whereas with Maggie I was also there physically. And obviously, that’s why you get the epidural, you don’t want to feel the contractions, but there was something about feeling so Maggie and Ben now I’m talking about there’s something about feeling baby moving down. And yep, it’s about a crown. Here it comes the Ring of Fire.

The ring of fire

This is a crazy fire sensation. Honestly, there’s something about that for me, that I enjoy. Now when I say enjoy, do I want that feeling? Not necessarily. But do I want the whole experience of it? Yes. And that’s what I was going for. So I went into Ben’s birth thinking, if I can have that same kind of birth. That’s ideal for me, but hey, we’re gonna see what happens. That is what happened.

I ended up not going for the epidural. So I experienced all the sensations from the contractions to the pushing to now back to me feeling like okay, I’m past this point of maybe the meditation but I never got the music back on till pushing because I just, I didn’t want it. I was kind of in my own zone without it. And I was like, okay, let’s get the show on the road. What’s going on? And I always get I say always my third time only but still, I always get apprehensive I’m sure many women do. When I asked my midwife, can you check me? Or when she says do you want me to check you to see, quote, how far along you are? How many centimeters dilated you are? Because I always think, man, this is intense. I’m working so hard. Babie’s working so hard. What if I’m only three centimeters or what if I’m only four centimeters still? Ah, it’ll feel so deflating.

And for me, it definitely does. For anybody, I’m sure. Because you think oh, wow, I’m so close. I’m definitely ready to push and then no, you’re four centimeters. So for that reason, I know some women choose not to even get checked or not even to hear how far along you might be. But I wanted Tamara to check because I wanted to know, let’s just, you know, realistically, where are we at here? She didn’t tell me how far along like how many centimeters. So I knew. Yeah. Okay. But she did say that. There was a little bit more cervix left. And you know, you’re thinning out, things are looking good. Let’s just keep going.

So we kept going for, I’m gonna say another half hour, hour. I was like, Tamara, check me. She says, okay, when you feel like it’s like so much pressure, because you’re gonna feel pressure that you have to push, right? You have to bear down. But when it’s super pressure, then we know it’s probably time to push. But I’m like, quantify, how do I quantify super pressure versus this is a lot of pressure, oh my gosh, I don’t really know. I don’t know necessarily that feeling that I’m going for.

So I don’t know when to tell you that I have to push. Anyway, this is all the uncertainty that was going on in my head. But it really, it didn’t take over me which was good. I was able to stay in the zone of you’ve got this. You’re a rock star. Let’s keep going. So anyway, Tamara checks me again, and I’m definitely closer. I’m so close. But just like with Maggie’s birth, there’s a little bit of cervix left. And I’m like, get that GED cervix out of the way, whatever you need to do. So and by the way, Tamara had broken my water earlier in the day, the first time she attempted to break the water. It didn’t happen. She says I can do it, but it’s going to be a lot of pressure for you. And because I was really early stage labor. But she said once you have a few contractions and baby moves around a little bit, then it’ll be easier. And that is exactly what happened.

The second time she tried. Boom, done. What a relief once you have your water broken for me, because you’re just like, able to release I don’t know, it makes the contractions easier for me. So there you go. So fast forward back to this time of okay, I think I’m ready to push. Can you check me there was a little bit of cervix left and I was like, let’s get this thing on. So Tamara, during the contraction, attempted to move the cervix. I’m moving around. But she’s also trying to get the cervix with her hand out of the way. And eventually, we think it’s happening. And she actually said, while I was pushing, baby was turning still so like turning into a position anyway. Crazy.

Time to push

So I’m going to be pushing. We all think, yep, we’re good to go. Ready to go. It’s just such an intense time, right now. When we are pushing when we’re about to push. When you’re waiting for that contraction. When they’re coaching you on what to do. I know some people do breathing, some people do the deep breath or the holding the breath. Whatever you choose to do whatever you’re told to do, and then you choose to do, man, it’s just the most intense like, animalistic is the word I would use because it’s where those animal sounds can come out. And for me they do and I’m trying to contain this energy and put it toward pushing the baby out as opposed to putting the energy out in my voice. I’m trying to keep the energy in and bring it down to my uterus to get the baby to come out. And it’s like, wow.

But regardless of that, and actually, I guess because of that, I was able to do just a few pushes. I think it was maybe four or five contractions. And baby was out and I was like, oh my gosh, the relief is the most amazing relief of life. For me, oh my gosh, I was just like, yes.

Is it a boy or girl?

And then, okay, I thought it was a boy the whole time the whole pregnancy. And then, right before Miguel said, Okay, it’s girl or boy. I was like, he’s gonna say it’s a girl. But no, he said it’s Ben. And I was like what? Oh my gosh, it’s a boy this is crazy. I’m so happy because, yeah, I’ve got two girls and I’ve got the boys. Just amazing.

So I was so happy I had my boy Ben. Oh my gosh, he goes on your chest. Then after that comes the stitching. And yes, I got stitches because I got tearing. For the third time in a row. I could probably maybe have like, breathed the baby out. Instead of pushing so hard. This probably helped my perineum to not tear. But anyways, I did what I did. And I was happy I did it. And this is what I was coached to do. And I’m glad it happened the way it did. But yes, I tore for the third time. Oh my gosh.

So when you have no epidural, and you have to get stitches, and yes, they have local freezing, but you have to get a needle in order to get the freezing in. That is the part for me that’s like, oh, no, but it’s really not that bad. So I don’t want to scare you. Because if you’re like, oh no. Another thing to think about. Honestly, it is not that bad. And you’ve got so much oxytocin flowing through your body. Because you’ve just given birth, your baby is on your chest, trying to latch on to feed like it’s amazing. So you feel it, but you’re like, listen, I just gave birth, this is fine. Continue on. So they were stitching me up. It was fine.

I gave birth to the placenta. I delivered the placenta. I should say before this, obviously. And that wasn’t too bad at all. Just like I think it was one push during a contraction. And out it went. So I got stitches. And that was what it was. It wasn’t too bad. But you know, stitches in your vagina. Yay and bummed yay. Extra extra fun.

Early labor

But I had my baby Ben. Now I forgot to mention. I will also say during early labor, I was dancing around. I was standing, I was on the ball. I was trying to do different positions. I was walking around the hospital with Miguel. In fact, at one point he wanted to get food because you can I don’t mind, hey, you go for it. I want you to have energy. I want you to be focused when I need you. So let’s go get you food. And I wanted to go for a walk as well to get things moving, as the Pitocin had just started.

So we were walking around the hospital together, and we walked to the food court. If you’ve been to Mac if you’re from Hamilton, Ontario, there’s huge, I’m gonna call it a food court. But it’s probably more known as a cafeteria. And I was like, you know what, Miguel? Because I was walking along in my nightgown that I had brought for birth. And I had the IV machine hooked up to me, so I’m like, wheeling it along beside me. People must have been like, what is happening? Are you okay? Because I’m nine months pregnant. Anyway. Funny. So I said, you know what, Miguel, I think I’ll just stay out here in the hallway, you will get your food. I’ll stay out here. So I was walking back and forth as the contractions were getting more intense, but still super mild.

So people were walking by like, okay, honey, you okay? Yeah, cool. Okay. It was funny. That was a side note.

Anyway, that was early labor. And then we got into it. And I did different positions on the bed. I was the peanut ball, that peanut ball if you have not experienced it, let me just tell you something about the peanut ball. It is the most intense contractions I’ve ever had. Except I was also on when I was on all fours like kind of on my elbows and my knees, and forearms kind of thing. Those were also super intense. But when they are the most intense my friends this is apparently what they told me is this is when the baby is best able to turn into the right position. And that’s why it’s so intense because baby is trying to turn and oh my gosh. So yeah, the peanut ball happened. It’s like this huge, almost like a figure eight, if you will, ball. It goes in on the inside of it. You put your legs around it, it goes between your upper legs. Oh my gosh, it is crazy. But so good. So, so good, because it moves the baby where it should be into the ideal position for birth.

Man. I know this first story was kind of like, up and down and around and around. I hope that you got something from it. This is what it was for me. And like I said, it wasn’t very long. It was five to six hours total. It was so super intense. I was so relieved at the end of it. But I could do it and I did it. So if you’re going into labor birth soon or in the future, honestly, you have got this. We all have our own stories and it’s amazing. Birth is so freakin’ crazy. Not to mention you just birthed a human. There is now a new human in the world because you gave birth to it. It’s so crazy because you created it in your body. Now you’ve given birth to it.

Well, I love birth stories. And I hope that you’ve enjoyed this one. I hope it wasn’t too choppy, I would have recorded it sooner. But now that I have three little ones, it’s kind of crazy finding a time to record where there’s quiet in my house. I have to make sure that Ellie is at preschool. So today is a preschool day. Okay, check. And then I have to make sure that Maggie is sleeping. Okay, check, she’s on her nap. And third, ideally Ben sleeping so that I’m not shuffling around trying to feed him and taking my head away from the microphone. And he’s not squawking in the background.

So there’s a lot of missing or there’s a lot of pieces that have to be filled, and boxes that have to be checked. So today Finally, I’ve been able to do that he’s now six weeks old. I’m so excited to get back into podcasting and recording episodes. And when I have these moments, I will be recording more than one at a time. So I have them coming out weekly once again. Every Monday, starting next week and because it’s already Tuesday today, but I want to get this one out this week.

Okay, my friends. Let me know. What did you think about this first story? Do you have any questions? Do tell! What you can do to contact me is go to Instagram @lauraannlima. And you can DM me or you can go to the post that will show this podcast episode and you can leave a comment there. Either one I will read I will get back to and I will love it.

So thank you so much for listening. And you have an amazing day my friend. Bye bye. And don’t forget to get your free copy of my new mama energy guide. Just go to http://bit.ly/newmamas for instant access.

Thanks for listening to the Love and Lettuce podcast. To find out how to work with me and for more great info check out newmamanation.com. This is Laura. Until next time, Love and Lettuce.