As a new (or seasoned) mom, you often get questions about your kids. Oh, look at her waddling around! When did that start? Which solid foods did you start him with? How are they handling the transition to school?
And these are all important things, for sure, and all things that you love to talk about.
But what I want to know is, how are you, mama? How are you holding up? Are you feeling great? Or are you feeling overwhelmed by all of this? As much as I love finding out about your kids, my job is to take care of you. Or more specifically, to help you take better care of yourself.
This blog post is about doing just that. I’m going to give you some of the strategies that have most helped me in my transition into new mamahood. And if you’re a pro mom (as in, you’ve been at it for a while), these strategies can absolutely help you, too.
Before we dive in, you need to know how much YOU matter. Your health and well-being are my top priority. And if you’re someone who thinks, oh I’m fine… as long as my family is okay, I’m good… then just remember that if YOU aren’t okay, then your family won’t be, either. We mamas must take care of ourselves first, as weird as it may feel, because it means that we can show up as the best version of ourselves (read: better moms, partners, friends, daughters and so on).
So with that in mind, let’s get into my top strategies for helping you feel like your awesome self again, so that you can rock this thing called life.
1. Sleep.
Oh, I know girl… you’re like, ha, if only it were that easy. Now, while it’s true that babies kids of all ages can mean less sleep for us, it’s also true that we could often choose to go to bed earlier, but instead we stay up until we’re dead tired.
Am I right?
I’m not suggesting that you go to bed early every night at the expense of quality time with your partner (or yourself), but I am, however, giving you a gentle nudge (well, hard push) toward your bed on those nights when you know you just need to sleep. You don’t need to do that extra load of laundry, the dishes don’t need to be cleared away before you leave the kitchen, and you can wait until tomorrow to find out who the Bachelorette chose. Okay, I feel you with that last one, but still!
2. Eat well.
Seriously. You need to listen up, because what we eat virtually dictates how we are going to feel, both mentally and physically. Yes, we choose our thoughts, but it’s a whole lot easier to choose positive ones when our brain cells are nourished rather than going haywire from various forms of junk.
And as far as our physical game goes, man, does our food ever make a difference there too. When we fuel our body with nutrients, our blood sugar is steady, our muscles have strength, and we are giving our body a chance to actually feel energized, rather than rely on stimulants to give us a false boost (ahem, caffeine and sugar). Fake energy is never fun in the long run. This is not to say that you can’t ever have caffeine or sugar (hello, real life!), but you must try your best not to rely on them to keep you going.
So what should you focus on eating? Two words: real food. This is food with the least amount of processing and as close to its natural form as possible. We’re talking eggs, meat and fish, butter and oils like flax, coconut and olive, vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds, and legumes. Whole grains like quinoa (which, side note, is really a seed), and brown rice can be okay, too, and if you’re going to have bread, opt for sourdough or sprouted. Keep in mind, though, that grains can cause a blood sugar swing, so they tend not to give us long-term, sustained energy.
3. Drink water.
Especially if you’re breastfeeding, but even if you’re not, you need to drink up, girl! We sweat it out, we pee it out, and we breathe it out. Honestly, I’m thirsty just writing this. Plus, I know we tend to love us some caffeine, and that can be dehydrating… even more reason to up our water game. It is so important for us to hydrate our bodies and keep ‘em that way.
Water carries nutrients to our cells and flushes waste out. Yes, when you drink more you’ll likely pee more often (and that’s good because you’re helping your bod flush out waste), but you shouldn’t be winning any awards for most frequent bathroom visitor. If you do find yourself having to pee really often and it’s usually clear (your pee, that is), then add a pinch or two of sea salt to your water. This is a bonus too because it helps to replenish your electrolytes. More minerals, you say? Yes please!
4. Exercise.
Girl. If you asked me for one thing you can do over the next half hour that has the power to transform your mood, boost your brain clarity, relieve stress, and make you feel like a million, I’d tell you to kick back with a glass of wine and a tub of Häagen-Dazs. Just kidding (sort of). I’d say, girl, go work out!
Even when you don’t feel like it (and maybe even especially then), do your darndest to put on those workout clothes, grab some water, and get to it. There is something seriously transformative about exercise, and every single workout is worth that amazing feeling you get afterward (and even during). You feel better for the entire day after a workout because no matter what comes your way, you can think to yourself, yeah I did that, yeah I’m a rockstar, and now I can take on anything.
5. Do something just for you.
Maybe it’s going to bed an hour early so you can catch up on your book. Maybe it’s planning a girls’ night out (or in). Perhaps it’s taking a bath, then painting your toenails while catching up on Big Brother. Whatever it is, it’s something that you’re doing just for you, purely for your benefit and happiness. And if things get busy (ha, WHEN things get busy!), don’t let this be the first thing to go. This should be a commitment you’ve made to yourself, just like you would to anyone else. You owe it to yourself to see it through… and you will be so glad you did.
And don’t make this a rare occasion, either. Do something for yourself (are you ready for this?)… every single day! Maybe some days it’s only for 10 minutes and that’s okay… just make sure you make it happen.
6. Build your mom tribe.
This one is so important because you are Not. In this. Alone. For every single one of your thoughts, feelings and emotions, I can pretty much guarantee that there are other mamas who feel (or have felt) the exact same way. Don’t let yourself feel like you’re the only one because A) You’re not, and B) You shouldn’t have to go through this alone. Whether you’re navigating the waters of new mamahood or you’re a seasoned mom of 5, there are other moms out there who will have your back and can be that person you can call on, whether it’s to vent or help you figure something out, or just to enjoy a glass (or three) of wine together.
Beyond your immediate friends’ circle, consider joining mom groups on Facebook and check out mom & baby classes and events in your community. If you’re in the Hamilton area, check out @momshamilton on Instagram (there’s one in Toronto, too)… they organize fun events and get-togethers for both mom & baby, and also just for mamas. Highly recommended!
The most important thing I want you to take from all of this is the realization of how important YOU are, mama. Your health, wellbeing, and sanity are all essential components of feeling your absolute best, not just as a mom but as YOU and the fantastic person you are. You must take the time to take care of yourself… not only will you feel more like you again, but you’ll be the best damn version you’ve ever been.
Leave me a comment below with which one of these you’re going to work on first, woop! And maybe it’s all of ’em, in which case, double woop!