Caught you.

You thought I meant how we sometimes compare ourselves to other moms and feel inferior, right? Like, Tina looks so perfect and she has her kids in ALL the activities and she always has time for them and she is so dang fit… and then we look at ourselves like, ugh, why can’t I be more like Tina?

Hold the phone, mama. This is not about Tina! Or that type of comparison, for that matter. To read about that type (and about Tina), click here for Part Two. But this blog post is about a different kind of comparison game, one that is more sneaky and underlying… but one that definitely exists nonetheless.

Wanna Know What It Is?

It’s feeling so stressed and tired, but then immediately brushing yourself off and making your feelings unimportant because Sally has twins, and that must be way harder so therefore your feelings aren’t as valid. It’s feeling that because Mandy has a toddler AND a newborn, I’m somehow wrong for feeling stressed with my ONE baby. It’s always feeling like, well, other people have more to deal with than I do so I’m not allowed to, or I shouldn’t, feel this stress (or enter your own emotion here).

Whoa, girl. Stop that right now.

Been There, Done That

Believe me, I know… it’s easy to get caught up in that trap of not feeling like your stress or emotions are valid simply because others have more on their plate than you. Personally, when I’m having a stressful day and all I want to do is curl up with a book, I most definitely have that moment of thinking of other moms and then telling myself, you shouldn’t be stressed; you have it so easy in comparison. And THEN I remind myself that what others are experiencing in their lives should have no influence on my feelings; I should be able to feel that stress, experience it, realize that it is completely understandable… and then move on.

Listen, YOU are valid. Your feelings are real and should be experienced as such. Just as you should never compare yourself to other moms in the form of, oh man she’s a WAY better mom than me because of “X”, you shouldn’t compare yourself to other moms in the form of, well she has way more on her plate than me so she has more of a right to feel stressed. Nope, no way, no how.

Here’s What To Do

So the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed but then you talk yourself down, just remember that you have every right to feel the way you do. Feel it, live it… but then forget about it. Because just as it’s important to allow yourself to feel the stress, it’s equally as important to move past it and not let yourself live there for too long. Balance is key when it comes to our emotional health, just like most other things in life.

Be honest, do you find yourself comparing your situation to other mamas’ in this way? Can you relate to writing your feelings off as not valid just because others seem to have more to get stressed about? Drop me a comment below.