For as long as I can remember, I’ve been told that I’m quiet. I’ve been labeled as the shy one, the one who’s reserved, the one who doesn’t say much, the one who keeps to herself. And the more that you hear something, you actually start to become more of that thing, good or bad. And because I knew that people thought of me as shy and quiet, I found it even more difficult to put myself out there. I thought they’d think I was nervous, which actually made me nervous, which made things awkward… anyone who can relate knows what I mean.
More than hearing them tell me their supposed observation about me, I actually felt the negative connotation behind their words. I came to believe that being quiet was a bad thing, an undesirable trait, that I should be more outgoing and able to start and carry the conversation… basically, that being outgoing was good, and being shy was bad. And this, of course, made me go more into my shell.
Can you relate?
Now, it’s not like I was quiet in every situation (not that it matters; that’s what this post is about, after all)… but it was definitely the thing that I fell back to more often than not. It’s still my tendency today, although it’s funny because if I’m teaching a class or recording a video, I feel right in my element and I’m good to go. But, if you’re at the same party as me, you might not even know I was there. Okay, maybe that’s a stretch, but I think you get the point.
Also for as long as I can remember, my parents have encouraged me to be who I am without fear of judgment; they never once made me feel like my introversion was a bad thing. It was more in a social setting that I would hear, or feel, others’ opinions. But my parents made sure I felt good about who I was (and who I wasn’t).
In reflecting back on all of this, I also want to make sure that Ellie never feels like she’s a certain way based on what other people think, and that it’s a good or bad thing. I want her to know that she can be whoever she wants to be, and that person is amazing. In my particular example, I don’t want her to believe that being outgoing is better than being shy. I want to encourage her to never back away from who she is inside, and instead to flaunt it to the world. I don’t want her personality to be quelled by the opinions of others that she may hear or pick up on. Instead, I want her to be who she is in spite of anyone else’s judgment or comments, and to be dang proud of it.
Boom.
What’s something that you are super passionate about passing on to your kids? Please share below.